Silent Understanding
by Kali47
Summary: Charlie reflects on his mother's death and visits his brother late at night. Lots of angst and brotherly love.
1. A simple two syllabic word

**SILENT UNDERSTANDING**

Chapters: 2  
Characters: Don Eppes, Charlie Eppes  
Type: Angst, Drama  
Spoilers: none  
Rating: PG  
Summary: Charlie reflects on his mother's death and visits his brother, late at night.  
Note: This was supposed to be a oneshot, but when I finished writing the first part, I felt like writing more and made a second chapter.  
Disclaimer: Don't own the show, don't own the boys.

o0o

It was close to eleven and, as he emptied his beer bottle, Agent Donald Eppes was about to call it a night. He was about to head to his bed and get those few hours of sleep he had well earned.  
He was halfway through the hallway, when a soft thumping reached his ears. He cursed loudly to whoever was bothering him at such a late hour. His lips couldn't help but curl into a small smile, when he opened the door to let in his brother. Of course, time was just another data to a mathematician. There was no big difference between an eleven and an eight.

Don was about to comment on the late hour, nonetheless, but the words died on his lips, when he noticed the pain in his brother's eyes.

"What is it?" He crossed his arms on his chest, while his brother sat on the sofa, murmuring something that sounded like, 'Nothing'.

The eldest sighed and sat on the coffee table in front of the youngest. He didn't like how his brother's hands were shaking softly, or the unusual brightness in his eyes.

"Charlie?" he called out softly. "Tell me what's wrong."

The younger bit his lip and kept his gaze firmly on the floor. 37 inches — prime number — and the current distance between his eyes and the floor. It was twice the distance between his brother's eyes and his — not a prime. Prime numbers were good, better, he thought; _keep looking down then_.

His wondering thoughts came to a stop, when he felt a hand on his shoulder. It reminded him where he was and why. He shuddered, unconsciously, at the thought and Don called out his name again. The voice was barely above whisper; softer than usual, filled with worry and concern.

"What is it Charlie?" his brother asked again, when he finally looked up and their eyes locked.

Charlie quickly blinked and let his eyes wander around, as he started to explain what had happened.  
He'd been working hard on a new equation, after the class had ended. When he'd gotten too tired to think straight, he decided to go back home. He'd passed by some kids in the parking lot, some were his students and they greeted him. He had been about to reply when he suddenly felt his heart constrict in his chest, his eyes grow damp, and he found it was suddenly hard to breath.

The music was still resounding in his ears as he got on his bike. He pushed hard on the pedals, put as much distance as he could between him and the song, but it was never enough.

Charlie was shaking softly now, and Don felt his chest constrict. He inched closer and tightened his grasp on his brother's shoulder, not knowing what else he could do to help.

"What song was it?" he asked quietly, when he realised that his brother wouldn't give him more details.

"Mom's," was the quiet reply; muttered softly, as Charlie continued to fight to hold back the tears.

"Oh," was all his brother managed to say. Their mother had had a favourite song. The one she was humming while gardening, the one she was softly singing to lull them to sleep when they were kids. The song that had been playing when the coffin was carried out of the church.

"Charlie," Don whispered, brokenly. It wasn't a question, wasn't a reproach. It was so little — a simple two syllabic word — yet it held so much meaning. It was '_I'm here for you'_, '_I'm sorry'_ and _'I love you'_, all wrapped together at the same time, and even more.

Charlie looked up and leant forward, slowly reducing the distance between his brother and himself until his head rested on Don's strong shoulder. His arms found their way around his back and he tightly gripped his brother's shirt. Tears ran free on his cheeks and the cloth absorbed them in a silent understanding.

Don said nothing but returned the embrace, stroking his brother's back with his right hand while the other got tangled in his unruly curly hair. He felt his eyes grow damp as well, but fought to keep the tears at bay. Now was not the time to cry, he had to be strong for his brother. Charlie needed him.

The younger man cried himself to sleep in his brother's arms. When his breathing evened out, Don gently laid him back on the sofa. He covered him with a warm blanket and brushed away the remaining offending tears with his thumb.

"Oh Charlie." His voice cracked a little over the name. His hand absentmindedly rose up, to stroke curls of brown hair. "I'm so sorry. I know you hurt buddy and I wish I knew what to say to make it all go away."

The hand moved down a little and stroked the younger man's shoulder and upper arm gently, in a comforting and soothing manner. Tears were harder to hold now for Don, and a few escaped his eyes, leaving wet paths on his cheeks.

"I'm here for you Charlie, always will.

"I love you," he whispered, before placing a soft kiss on his brother's forehead.

He stood up and with one last glance at the sleeping form, walked to his own bed. He made sure to leave the bedroom door ajar, just in case, and then, moved slowly to lie down. As he lay there, in the dark, he hoped that nightmares would spare him tonight. He knew it was wishful thinking.

**TBC**


	2. Little nothings of comfort

**SILENT UNDERSTANDING**

Charlie was silently contemplating the night. He had woken up when Don had let him down on the couch. Not wanting to get emotionally vulnerable again, he'd kept his eyes closed, and his breathing under control.

He'd thought that his brother would leave him be and simply go to sleep. Don's kind words and soothing gestures came as a surprise and left him unsettled.

Don wasn't like that; he wasn't the sharing, caring kind of guy. A clasp on the shoulder, a few kind words, a brief hug; that was all his brother could demonstrated. And even then, such shows of affection were reserved for special times, when Charlie really, really needed it. But tonight, there'd been soft kisses and gentle caress, and on top of it all silent tears. Don's tears, it was something Charlie hadn't seen since they were kids; not even at their mother's death. Oh, he was sure that his brother had cried over loosing his mother, but he'd never allowed himself to do so in front of others.

'_Always the strong one, the protector,'_ Charlie bitterly thought.

As the mathematician sat there, in the dark, he remembered all the times Don had been there for him. In his head, he added up all the times he'd comforted him. Then he then tried to remember at least one time, where he had done the same for Don in return. He drew a blank, and that particular realization cut deeply in his heart. His older brother never let his guard down, not once. Tonight was a prime example of his stubbornness. There was no doubt that if Charlie had been awake, Don would never have allowed himself to behave like that.

Charlie's eyes absently drifted to the direction of his older brother's room. He wondered if Don was already asleep.

'_Yeah, no doubt he is,'_ he thought when he realised it was already past midnight.

He went to his brother nonetheless, peeking in the room by the open door. In the dim light he saw his brother's frame, curled up on his side with his back to the door. Charlie was about to walk back when he heard what sounded like a sob. Concerned, he took a few steps in, and noticed that his brother was indeed crying. He had his eyes shut and his arms wrapped around him tightly, his cheeks glittering under the weak moonlight. The pain was indubitable, but Don was eerily quiet about it. It tore a little more at Charlie's heart when he realised that his brother was fighting the pain with every ounce of energy he had left in his body.

"Donnie?" He pressed a gentle hand to his shoulder, as he knelt in front of the bed.

The FBI agent jumped in surprise and it took a few blinks for his eyes to focus completely on his younger brother. He hastily wiped away the tears, as tried to regain his composure.

"Charlie, what is it? Are you okay?" His voice came out hoarse and strained.

'_Always the others first,'_Charlie bitterly thought.

He nodded and forced a weak smile on his lips to reassure Don. Then he stood up and sat on the bed beside his brother, their shoulders touching. Charlie wanted to help, but he was unsure of what to do. Pressing the matter by asking too many questions would only serve to push Don to deny everything. He would get angry and probably force Charlie away and that really wasn't what he needed. Hesitantly, the mathematician lifted his hand and let it rest on his brother's shoulder, squeezing a little.

"I'm okay, Charlie." The reply to the gesture was soft spoken, but the voice was assured. The eldest had regained control on his voice and his face was more and more emotionless. If it weren't for his unnatural bright eyes, no one would ever guess he was hurting.

"No you're not," Charlie replied matter-of-factly, while his arms closed around his brother. He forced Don to rest against his chest.

He knew this was a bold move and he held his breath, wondering if his sibling was going to pull back. He couldn't help but smile a little, when he felt his brother relax and pass his arms around his waist, returning his embrace and accepting the much needed help.

"I know you hurt, but you're not alone. I'm here for you too, just like you are for me," Charlie said, in a soft, soothing voice.

"You weren't sleeping?" The reply was muffled and Charlie nodded.

"I'm s-sorry."

"Don't be Don. Just let me help you, 'kay?" he whispered softly. "I've got you Donnie, I've got you,"

He felt his brother hesitantly nod against his chest, and he bent down to place a small kiss on his left temple. It was all it took for the eldest to break completely and allow his tears to fall free. He buried himself a little more in his sibling's chest and sobbed quietly, in the reassuring warmth provided.

Charlie said little nothings of comfort every now and then, and kept rubbing small circles on his brother's broad back. Darkness cocooned them, and the rest of the night was spent in silent understanding.

**THE END**


End file.
